By Alec Reitzel
1) The Amalfi Coast has Horrible Views
Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but the views on the Amalfi Coast are disgusting… In fact, they’re so bad that you’ll likely be happy to sit inside all day instead of heading out. Don’t listen to other sources when they tell you that the views along the Amalfi Coast are some of the most beautiful in the world, or that you’ll feel all kinds of emotions stirring in you when you see the combination of sheer cliff-faces, azure waters, and moss-green trees.
When you consider your big trip to Italy, we doubt you have much interest in seeing sights that have been described as one of the 7 wonders of Europe. Why would anyone be interested in wonderful places?!
Being in the place where limoncello was created? Couldn’t think of anything worse? We can’t imagine anything worse that visiting the home of this bright, sweet alcoholic beverage that is loved by people all over the world. Some say it tastes like they’ve bottled the sunshine and that limoncello is one of the most unique beverages in the world — the pride of Italy — but we don’t know why that would appeal to anyone…
I’m quite positive Positano is actually where happiness goes to die. Look at the bright, colourful buildings set like little jewels in the stark cliffs overlooking the turquoise ocean below. Look at the beautiful beach and decadent yachts out on the water… Surely Positano is the worst place on planet Earth…
Having sandals made where Jackie Kennedy once was (and had some made) makes for a rather boring story, doesn’t it? As does having sandles made by a local artisan who designs them specifically to fit your feet. Why would anyone want something as unique and authentic as that?!
Some people laud the Amalfi Coast as the most beautiful coastline in the world – right up there with Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way and Croatia’s Dalmatian Coast. But we think it’s fairly hum drum. I’m sure you agree…
7. Delicious Italian Seafood Just isn’t Very Exciting
I’d rather have a PB&J than eat fried calamari and seafood pasta. I’d rather have a McDonald’s than freshly made Italian bread and shellfish caught by local fishermen in the morning. If you abhor authentic Italian cuisine as much as we do, then you should avoid visiting the Amalfi Coast.
Instagram likes don’t actually matter, so what’s the point, right? If you don’t want hundreds of likes and interactions from people admiring your travel shots, then just don’t go to the Amalfi Coast. There. Problem solved.
9. You Don’t Like Organic, Sun-kissed Local Produce
Lemons the size of your head? Big whoop. Tomatoes that taste more like tomato than water? So what? Fresh seasonal vegetables grown in the blasting Italian sun? Who cares.
10. You Don’t Want to Visit Sorrento, Capri, Positano, or Pompeii
Hitting four spots (Sorrento, Capri, Positano, Pompeii) in one weekend? Overrated. Why would you possibly want to see four of Italy’s most legendary destinations in one weekend? Because this is what you could do on the Amalfi Coast as Sorrento, Pompeii, Positano, and Capri are all fairly close together.
11. Granitas Taste Like the Inside of a Shoe
Much like sorbet but with a more distinct, flakey texture, Granitas is often hailed by locals and visitors alike as one of the sweetest, most refreshing things you can enjoy while under the hot Italian sun. However, while it’s made with local fruit and produced using tried and tested local recipes that most people adore, you might think it tastes more like the inside of a shoe…
12. You Have Little Interest in Picturesque Local Souvenirs
My mom would rather have an Easy Bake Oven than a souvenir from Capri. If you have no interest in bringing local souvenirs back home, then give the Amalfi Coast a hard pass.
I’d rather stay pale and join the Cullens. If you’re like me and you don’t like sunlight, then yes, you absolutely should avoid the Amalfi Coast as the weather is so consistently sunny that it may be one of the least vampire-friendly locations in the world.
14. You Don’t Want to Visit Where Beyoncé Visited
Taking a trip to where the Beyoncé (amongst other celebs) have vacationed. LAME. Why would you want to go to a place that attracts big starts from around the world?
There are perhaps thousands of more reasons not to visit this beautiful, sun-kissed place packed with things to do and sights to see… This is just our list of the 14 reasons you should probably not visit the Amalfi Coast. If we haven’t convinced you, please check out our Weekend Trips to the Amalfi Coast and perhaps consider some of our other Study Abroad Student Trips. If you have any questions, please get in touch!