By Ali Evers
“Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more.” Dude, I feel ya Dorothy. The more time I spend in Europe, the more I realize I really am somewhere completely different than where I grew up. Here is a list of the top ten weirdest things I came across my first year in Europe.
1. Dinner time is late. Growing up, my family always had dinner at 7:00 prompt. Here in Europe, most places don’t even start serving dinner until 9. What’s this about?? Why so late? Don’t they know I am a hungry girl, and your girl gotta eat (and 9 pm is a pretty long time to wait for this to happen)!
2. People in Europe walk. ALL THE TIME. When I say walk, I don’t mean to the car like we do at home. Most things that you need in your everyday life are within walking distance in Europe. So this means that walking is HUGE here. No one drives to the nearest park or grocery store, it’s all within walking distance.
3. Speaking of grocery stores: WHY ARE YOUR EGGS NOT REFRIGERATED?? WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR PLASTIC BAGS? WHERE IS THE JIF PEANUT BUTTER AND RANCH DRESSING?
4. Okay, I get it—we all like shots. But someone please explain why your shots contain coffee and not alcohol. Lots of confusion on this subject matter. Coffee is a drink! Not a shot. C’mon now Europe, get with the program!
5. And as for drinking—you can be 18 and be legally drunk?!? What’s this about? Why isn’t America this chillax about drinking? And why is it that I can carry around this open container of alcohol on the streets? I don’t know, call me crazy, but these things have gotta start happening in the good ole place most of us call home. Why is America so uptight about these things??
6. Why do you call french fries, chips? They are fries! Do you want chips with that? Chips come in a bag. No, I want fries—the long yellow things that you dip in ketchup. I don’t get this.
7. Why am I paying to use a bathroom? Why? This is weird. And expensive for a girl with a small bladder. (Sorry, TMI)
8. Where is the ice? How hard is it to freeze water and put it in your drinks? The only time I ever get ice in my drink is when I ask for an iced coffee and then it’s €2 more expensive than a regular coffee, and I’m really just getting it so i can remember what a really cold drink even tastes like.
9. Why do you take historically significant places, for example, where Caesar got stabbed, and turn them into things like a cat sanctuary?? And then when the tourists come, they are there to see the cat sanctuary and not for the historical significance of what the landmark actually is famous for. I DON’T GET YOU EUROPE!
10. YOUR BREAKFAST! Breakfast should be pancakes, and eggs and toast and bacon! IT IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT PIECE OF BREAD THAT YOU PEOPLE CALL BREAKFAST. THAT’S NOT BREAKFAST, that is a piece of bread.